i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
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All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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