i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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