I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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