i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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