She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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