oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
