I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
