I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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