dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
