Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
you made out with another girl for some wings
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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