yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
