I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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