Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
