are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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