I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
