i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
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My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
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I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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