He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
