She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
