With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
