last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
