Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
