I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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