whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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