girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need water and some morals
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
