dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize