Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
