Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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