This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
