I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
