We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
