she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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