Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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