you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos