do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?