Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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