i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway