my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth