it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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