Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
