my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this just has baby written all over it
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize