dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
