Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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