you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
