That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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