Where did you get a picture of my penis
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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