he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
