Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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