Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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