Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
