I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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