I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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