Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
