Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
