I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
