I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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