Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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