just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
