I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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