This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
