but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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