I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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