Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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