I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
