Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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