I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
